I'm surprisingly nice for someone who hates 99% of people.
Stop editing your pics. What if you go missing?
I wasn't born with enough middle fingers..
A blind man walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair.
Love fades.. Bacon lasts forever.
Doctor: I think you'll need a shot
Doctor: AYYYYY *brings out tequila*
A girl a day keeps the hand away.
I’m really good at keeping secrets because five minutes later I forget what you told me because I don’t care